This page has replaced the old About Me page. If you’re really masochistic, you can read that one, too. Some of the content is the same. Be thankful that there isn’t more.

Andy LoPresto

The Life, The Legend, The Lies

Every comedian has an attempt at a funny bio on their website. Not me. I’m breaking the mold.

When did I start performing comedy? Long enough that I have actually been paid to perform. I’ll be the first to admit I haven’t been doing this very long. But I have been reading, watching, and writing comedy for much longer, so we’ll call it even at 28 years. That means doing open mics after that many years places me squarely at the bottom of the stand-up comedy ladder. But I gotta tell you, I crush for 7 minutes in the basement of a hotel in Dupont Circle. Seriously.

If you have actually gotten this far and are still interested in my comedy, I have a list of upcoming shows and even some media - video and audio clips, photos, and jokes.

If you’ve recently suffered a massive head trauma and have a desire to book me, go ahead and send an email to shows@andylopresto.com. I’ll answer almost immediately while hyperventilating, which won’t come across in the email, but now that I’ve written it, you’ll know. You’ll know.

I also design websites. I’ve done this in the past for local comedians (and I give a nice comedy discount) so if you’re interested, fire off an email to webdesign@andylopresto.com. The multiple emails are kind of superfluous; they all go to the same place. I’m not running some kind of conglomerate here. Still, it makes me feel organized.

That’s enough; enjoy the site; I’m not responsible for what follows below.

People ask “Why the huge picture? It’s pretty obvious that’s not you because no one who looks that good would know how to make their own webpage.”

Sorry my friends, not only is the picture Photoshopped into oblivion, but I do actually run the site myself, as opposed to those slackers (read: successful comics) who pay other people to do it for them. But I don’t put up the huge picture for my ego or because I think it looks particularly good - I do it because I like to know whose writing I’m reading on other sites, and the bigger/clearer the picture, the more inherent trust the writer gains. It’s fairly baseless, since I could just as easily put a good picture of someone else up there, but when the photos accompanying websites are 80 pixel high grainy greyscale headshots, the author just doesn’t have the same e-charisma. Did you like my coinage of the term e-charisma? It will never again be used in any form of communication. Especially not this blog.

e-charisma! e-charisma! e-charisma e-charisma e-charisma!

What is there to write?

Well, unless I changed something recently, this link was pretty unobtrusive, so either you’re really curious, you click randomly, or you modified the CSS sheets. All, I feel, good reasons to read what follows.

I write, you read, we laugh, we cry, you leave. - That’s the tagline of the site. I came up with it before I had any content. I’m not sure if it’s holding true.

It’s a blog about the daily happenings at the University of Maryland; my adventures in Washington, DC; my involvement as President of the humor newspaper, The Maryland Cow Nipple; as Writing Director of the sketch/stand-up/improv comedy group, The Bureau; and as assistant coach of a high school hockey team. Updated almost every day, sometimes twice. And sometimes if you’re not around, I’ll update by myself. But I was thinking of you.