Being Horrible Is Really Not That Hard

I don’t want to get into it, but right now I feel like I just told a little kid that his puppy died, and on top of that, he can never have another puppy because he accidentally killed this one. Maybe it was purposeful to get attention, maybe he didn’t really understand that his actions […]

Best Snow Ever

So I’m sitting in the dark watching the Law & Order: SVU marathon. The last two days have been phenomenal. Saturday Kevin, Matt Love, and I recovered from an unnecessarily awkward situation with an impromptu podcast recording session with Thomas, Eshovo, and Conrad. We were joined by a variety of guest characters and ended up […]

I Won! I Won! I Won!

I am having little shivers of excitement right now, and it’s 4 hours after the contest ended. The Bureau fielded 9 of the 14 contestants - Jo, Graham, Dave, Kevin Doran, Mike, Kelly, Branden, Matt Liebman, and myself. Last year, The Bureau fielded 3 and Matt Mayer and Liebman took the two finalist positions (Kelly […]

DC’s Funniest College Competition

I’m not in the mood to post anything substantial right now. Circumstances conspire to infuriate me, and then I take it out on you by depriving you of quality posts (of which I have written none for the last year and a half).
Come see a bunch of Bureau performers tonight at DC’s Funniest College […]

Steve Jobs Is Kinda Really Smart

Over the last 30 years, Steve Jobs has proven that he is generally a pretty smart guy. The original Apple computer, NeXT, Pixar, the list goes on and on. I’ve never been a “Jobs aficionado” as many Mac users are. I learned to use a computer with an Apple II si in the early 1990s, […]

“My Life Is Like My Car…

…and today was a snowy mall parking lot.”
Half of that is a metaphor (simile, I know), and half is literal. Today I woke up fully refueled and walked over a mile in the snow and ice to my car. I was to drive home and stay with my brother and our new dog while the […]

“Bring Me Chopper Backup!”

“This is Commander Feral! Bring me chopper backup!”
[Choppers are shot by missiles]
“Bring me more chopper backup!”
-Commander Ulysses Feral, Swat Kats
That was my favorite show as a kid, and after years of not being able to watch it, someone appears to have uploaded a ton of episodes on YouTube. Which is convenient, as I was sick […]

The Heart That Mattered Most On Valentine’s Day

Put aside politics for a moment and read this.
I think the line that sums it up for me is this:
“A child is a common dominator between all of us,” said Robert Donno, Gift of Life chairman. “The person in Iraq and the person in Amman and the person in New Jersey understand what this […]

Board Game Champion, Just One Of My Many Talents

So school was canceled again today due to the immense ice storm. I’ve typed “canceled” 572 times in the last 48 hours and it always looks weird with just one “l”. Anyway, that meant my dinner plans for this evening had to be postponed as well. My car is buried under an inch of ice […]

Life Is Canceled Pending Snow Removal

In the last two weeks I’ve had four interviews with campus media - the most since my most recent ill-fated SGA run (ill-fated because I somehow actually ended up in the damn organization and can’t get out). One with Terp Weekly Edition (the campus news radio program) was about The Bureau and MadTV, while another […]